I've moved out from a place I’ve called home with all my creature comforts. Leaving the life of the ‘white picket fence’ was tougher than I thought.
I guess this is all part of the breaking-up process. The separation of goods and disconnecting form the person I have been attached to for more than 4 years.
You realise how many things remind you of that person, places, songs, restaurants, buses.
I think I had a moment when I used my GPS and routinely set it to ‘home’ and I had to stop and think where ‘home’ was, as it is no longer the routine I have done hundreds of times before. My life was on automatic and this has been a shock to the system.
My lows this week I blame on hormones and not dealing with my emotions earlier on, so they turbulently hit me when I finally walked out.
My feelings were heightened after hearing about the ex spending time with a new girl almost every day since we broke up. I also learned she was probably more compatible with him and she shares more common interests that he wished I had.
'Que cera cera' is what my grandmother used to say.
Life goes on and this too shall pass.
It was my choice and I am glad of my decision, but at least I am being human and feeling this grief of letting go of the person who was the centre of my life for almost half a decade.
For now, I will keep myself inspired to really live my truth and be open to receive what I am ultimately longing for - a true kind of love which fills me emotionally and spiritually. A love that makes me feel desired, adored and treated like a goddess!
Lately, my inspiration for this new quest is one of my favourite paintings by Gustav Klimt, titled “The Kiss”.
This piece of art represents how I ultimately want to feel in a relationship.
To view the original, you can see it at New York's Metropolitan of Modern Art Museum.
Gustav Klimt - "The Kiss"
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