Why Feminine Energy is Especially Important Today

If you observe nature, you will notice perfect balance and harmony co-existing in everything to ensure its survival. Summer balances winter, water balances fire, night balances day, yin and yang, masculine and feminine.

However, if you look around at the concentration of world leaders, the philosophers who have influenced us, the way the schooling, educational and medical systems are organised and general positions of authority, its overwhelmingly all men men men...

Now, I am not saying that men haven't been doing a great job, and men who are conscious, self aware and mature bring forth many great qualities - initiating, bold, strategic, self-sacrificing in the name of loving service...

However, when men-overload is uncurbed by a feminine counter-balance, it begins to get out of control as we have witnessed in the world as of late - left unchecked it can get arrogant, defensive, stubborn and aggressive, initiating wars and the like to defend and prove its raging ego.

But the reality is - men are not entirely to blame! They are just responding unconsciously to a low presence of authentic female energy. And in my recent experience, most women (including myself, until recently) unfortunately have little access to the concept of what it actually is.

For example, I believe the new shift in the world since Barack Obama has been placed as the first US black president is an example of what happens when a strong, yet feminine woman such as his wife Michelle Obama lives in her feminine power, wielding him to be his best and achieve all his dreams and ambitions.

Her feminine energy and loving nature as his wife and best friend through the years, could be credited to his balanced and ego-less approach to his leadership style.

The strength of their marriage and friendship and in-sync polarities have complimented each other; enabling them to make massive changes as a duo.

Feminine essence has been suppressed for so long, that there are not enough women on the planet today who are still connected and aware of it to live it fully and teach others. I myself am only on the journey of discovery, merely inviting you to step into the void with me. There are definitely SOME women out there living in truth, but not ENOUGH to create any massive global change or turn-around. If I am wrong, then why aren't there more women in leadership positions? (Ms Julia Gillard, the new Aussie Prime Minister is excused from this point...go sister!)

The Potency of Feminine Leadership

The reality is, true feminine energy is very potent and powerful - it could easily go head to head and win with male power. We are the ones who can give birth and have multiple orgasms, remember? There is a reason for that.

Women in their feminine bring out the BEST in men. Just as you are craving a man who is strong, decisive, self assured and an effortless leader, it’s only fair to note that men are also crying out for women who are gentle, sensual, stable and receptive.

So, maybe it's time we cease the thinking that men actually OWE us something - cos I'm realising more and more that they don't.

What we owe to OURSELVES, first and foremost is a return to OUR essence, our feminine truth.

So don't hold back - I'd love to hear your thoughts, ideas, experiences and challenges! And of course - feel free to challenge me. I am here to learn and grow just as much as you are.

Love and Light,

Lady J x

Here are some of my favourite paintings and sculptures from my latest trip to Paris at the Louvre museum.

To me these pieces symbolises the gentle and loving feminine nature women balance out in men. Whether the man in your life lives in their heads and is burdened by decisions, power, responsibility and stress; the cure to counteract and bring them back to balance is a nurturing, loving and strong feminine woman.

"Dephnis et Chloe" 1824, painted by Baron Francois GERARD

"The Ghosts of Paolo and Francesca Appear to Dante and Virgil" Ary Scheffer

The Push and Pull of Love

"Our joy and fulfilment in a relationship is defined by the romantic experience we create for each other. This experience is shaped by the courage and creativity with which we are willing to express our emotions."

I've had relationships where it was intense and cozy from the start - and remained that way until the end (until it no longer didn't). I've had even more men blow torch me with attention up front, only then to pull back suddenly and infuriatingly (Did I say something wrong? Was I not enough of a challenge? Or is he simply a commitment-phone who would do said thing to even Cindy Crawford?).

This is the domain that confuses me most - is the success rate with a man early on increased if you hold off a bit at the start, letting it simmer and build? Or is it best to be open and yourself completely from the start... and if it doesn't work, it was never meant to be?

(When I receive answers to this in person, almost everyone says that they want openness and honesty, but actually respond to the challenge.... the perils of human nature!)

One thing I  do understand is this:

The most important element of courtship and seduction is remaining relaaaaxed. Yes, men will oft be slow to catch up to your commitment clock (unless they are totally self-evolved and emotionally available... but that is fodder for another post). And whilst the majority of 'men' (well, those under 35 anyway... in which case are they even men??) are in no rush to cohabit cozily (even with a Goddess like you... yet)... it may be important that the decision to move things forward comes from them.

Until then, reward their initiative and give them plenty of time to scratch their heads by leading a fabulous life which they would be knocking down walls to be a part of. Be realistic about where he is at and meet him on that level... if he is casual, so are you - because your life is filled with other dates, hobbies and interests that keep your heart aflame and alive.

Too often I see women wanting "boyfriend" behaviour from a guy who is just "casually hanging out" (myself - guilty!). It's a recipe for losing power (and this blog is alll about feminine power). Please - readjust your expectations of him to "casual date" and go find someone wonderful who'll claim you fully.

Now I am all up for a bit of longing - it is all a part of the romantic experience and allows us to know the depth and breadth of our feelings. Don't take all the challenge (i.e. degree of longing) out of courtship, or you'd be doing your spirit a great dis-service. Like in any area of life, instant gratification just leads to apathy. Keep the string of chemistry taught with just the right, playful amount of disclosure and restraint. But do it to keep things energised for you - not to entrap and manipulate him. Presto?

Being a challenge, being available, early dating rules, being yourself... Dying to hear your thoughts on this, boys and girls?

Jx

Some recent photos I took in one of the most loved-up places in the world...Paris.

There's Always a Way to Get What you Want...

... provided you are willing to do what it takes to get it.

This post is aimed to help you become the kind of person that good stuff sticks to... and minimise any excess chasing, stress and inaction in return.

On some level, living life well is all about setting achievable goals, as any goal-getting gospel will tell you. To paraphrase years of self-help manuals:

"Have an end in mind, break it down into manageable chunks, do daily only what's important and viola! - trip away achieved, business launched and size 6 jeans out of hiding"...

Ok, sounds easy enough... but it's the "do daily only what's important" bit that used to get me every time. Somehow Facebook, having another sandwich and calling a friend always got in the way of me even posting on this blog (an affliction I've now conquered, as you can see by the execution of this post! ;))

For those who suffer from action-aversion, there's always The Secret www.thesecret.tv - see it, feel it, and it will come (getting off your bum and putting in the hard yakka is seemingly optional). This valuable but somewhat distorted account of manifestation presents a limited angle to what is actually a powerful law. If visualisation and affirmative thought was enough, I'd be living in my Spanish mansion by the sea by now...

Now, I am not poo-pooing the Law of Attraction, The Secret or the desire for material possessions. Its more that when goal-actualising technology is split between the "Working-like-a-dog" vs the "See-it-and-it-will-come" camps, we kinda forget that the whole point of being a good egg in life (and indeed, truly being happy) is to give, not to get.

Yes, success is dependent on action, with a bit of magic thrown in. But our ability to take those actions consistently depends on the inner strengths that are required to make said actions easy.

Most of us are so OUTSIDE-focused that we forget that WE are our biggest work-in-progress. The recognition and development of our inner qualities is what determines our ability to add real value to the world around us.

I don't belive that we "create" opportunities - rather, we grow into them.
 

A lot of us are still wishing for a fantasy life without doing the actual inner work to make it happen. Taking responsibility and looking at your 'stuff' is a humbling and uncomfortable process, but also one that is empowering beyond words and will prepare you for anything in life.

When you improve, everything improves.

Therein lies my whole argument for self-realisation. I am not after a wild dream or the fillment of a bottomless pit of despair within myself. Rather, I feel that the planet needs a lot of work, so I am taking the time and work necessary daily to be the most inspired, strong and compassionate woman I can be, so that I have the energy and resources to give back to others through who I am.

As the adage goes, "you can't give what you don't have".

If you don't like yourself, it's probably because you are behaving as someone you probably wouldn't like either. For instance, if I'm being lazy, skipping on exercise, being a brat or not giving my friends and family the care they deserve... I don't like myself. At the same time, when I exercise, am mindful in my communication, meditate, get my work out on time and act with integrity, I like myself. Simple!

So, become someone you would like. How would you like to be described? The best way I know is to first focus on who you would like to BE. Then go ahead and be that person. That's it.
 

To finish off, here is a quote that I just found by Gary Gorrow that sums this up perfectly...

Don't be shy after you finished reading this and leave a post about what inner skills and strengths you would like to develop in yourself... Or what advice you have for others who are wanting to develop more patience, resilience, grace or compassion in their lives...
J x

Shifting Perception
There are two ways of meeting difficulties: we can alter the difficulties, or we can alter ourselves to meet them.

A simple shift in our own awareness brings an enormous shift in how we experience daily life.
If we could gently train ourselves to see the progressive value in every situation, to have our attention on the gift concealed behind that which is seemingly difficult, we would come to realize that life's challenges aren't meant to paralyse us, they are natures uniquely orchestrated events designed to accelerate our evolution and help us to discover who we really are.

The truth is that if we're never challenged or never try to do something beyond what we have already mastered, we will never grow.
Jai Guru Deva
Gary

Claim Your Inner Masculine

All too often, we hook into relationships because we feel a particular man will enhance our lives. Better friends, better parties, better restaurants. We adore them and think they are great... but deep down know we want a deeper, more genuine connection.

Well I am here to say that if a man doesn't totally rock your world - open you deeply, sexually, emotionally (and you'd know it if he was) - then you are settling. And any decision made by fear, not by choice is ultimately a debilitating one.

This post is here to help you cultivate the inner stature that you need to thrive and blossom on your own so that the next man you shack up with is even more magnificent that your magnificent existence.

See, the reason I write this is because I am the first and foremost guilty member of the "you complete me" club. For years, I have oh-so-gladly and subconsciously given my power away to boyfriends. Life was so much easier when a strong competent male made decisions for me. Where to eat, what we're doing, which virus software to get for my computer.... Sound familiar?

Now, I know that those directional qualities are what's beautiful about the Masculine. And of course, it's fun to do gadget talk with boys! What I am talking about is the dependence I felt on those decisions. Without that empowered directionality, I felt like a "little girl lost".

I know the women reading this will fall into two camps:

There are the women who have come full circle on this journey, saying "derr girl - grow up! Of course you've gotta be your own woman before you can expect a healthy coupling with a man!."

And the other women who are saying "Uh-oh... I kinda relate... I always feel deep down that a boyfriend will make my life easier, grander, more fun".

This post is for the second group - because inadvertently giving your power away like that will end you up with the wrong man. Every time. It will also incapacitate you in ever knowing your own strength, self-worth and massive capability to achieve amazing and surprising dreams.

So, what is that part of you that would rather forgo true love in favour of security?

Hey - what is wrong with security, you ask?

Nothing, per se. What I have an issue with is a relationship that is based on fear of being alone, rather than love. You are entrapping the other... and you are entrapping your self. It's like you're saying to the Universe: "I don't trust You, I don't trust Myself, I don't trust Men... And so I will take what's given to me rather than risk for some Ultimate Fantasy".

Ask, and ye shall receive ladies.

I just hope that you ask to be emotionally, mentally, physically and spiritually met by a man. That is the fertile breeding ground for a love that will challenge, open and expand you into the woman you were always yearning to be - provided you let it.

And this is where cultivating YOUR inner masculine comes in - so that you don't need to get your social, emotional needs met by a man that you are not absolutely crazy about.

In simple terms, I am talking about your ability to thrive and survive in the world. I am talking about your ability to succeed and make yourself so blindingly juicy and happy that a man would need to really show up to get your attention. You are blooming, he loves the challenge... It is based on fun and attraction and possibility and desire... (much better than accepting a drink date at the last minute 'cos you hate what's on TV, I say).

Entertain yourself. Go to amazing restaurants. Go to the Opera.... Heck, a weekend away. Make amazing progress at work and manifest a major pay rise - whatever it is that you are secretly hoping will be taken care of when you have a boyfriend - do it now.

Now, I know this is old news, and most us modern women already do this... but only to some degree. It feels like, amongst my peers, we are only playing life at 70%, still hoping that a "perfect" man will enable to take it 100%.

I say - play it at 110%!

Give yourself everything you've ever wanted, yes... but remove the feelings of loneliness, frustration and pining for a man - OK?

The part in you that is OK to be in the world on your own - that is your inner masculine. The part in you that doesn't need to be rescued or pandered to on any level? Yups - inner masculine. If you don't feel like you can thrive here 100% solo, you will be hooking in the wrong men. This a co-dependent dynamic maketh. This is your little girl not wanting to be a grown, independent woman.

I think a lot of us are really gracious and grateful when enjoying the treats and spoils of man... until we come to expect them. I have never ever expected them.

Financial independence, freedom to travel, being a culture vulture and entertaining queen... these are my new responsibilities. At least for the time anyway. So when I do choose to merge with a man , I want to add value. I want to give more, take less. My needs are my own to look after. Only then am I free to bring the most beautiful, strong, and liberating parts of myself to a man who I choose because he is even more magnificent than my full, solo life.

Stop pining for something that you are not even entirely sure you want. Many, many people are bored in their relationships and are lying to themselves just to hold up an illusion. Do not be one of those people.

Start bringing the value of your Feminine... It only blossoms when you become secure in yourself. It is the Wild Woman in you that lets go and celebrates herself. It's you being drunk on your own company, ready to take on life and receive life in full. And only you can bring about your own security when you trust yourself. And you trust yourself when you provide for your core needs. You know you can do it. You know you are completely OK on your own.

So, what are some ways you can enhance your independence and celebration of life? Have you ever been guilty of staying in a relationship because it seemed a better option than being alone? How have your relationship dynamics changed when you began to "grow up"?
 
Now I will leave you with a beautiful and inspiring piece of art to help unleash your inner goddess - one of my favourite local artists in Brisbane  - Sarah Hickey, Titled: Goddess and Patron Saint of Flowers.

 

http://www.vivaciousart.com.au/

"You don't marry someone you can live with - you marry the person who you cannot live without."

What a week of highs and lows!

I've moved out from a place I’ve called home with all my creature comforts. Leaving the life of the ‘white picket fence’ was tougher than I thought.

I guess this is all part of the breaking-up process. The separation of goods and disconnecting form the person I have been attached to for more than 4 years.

You realise how many things remind you of that person, places, songs, restaurants, buses.

I think I had a moment when I used my GPS and routinely set it to ‘home’ and I had to stop and think where ‘home’ was, as it is no longer the routine I have done hundreds of times before. My life was on automatic and this has been a shock to the system.

My lows this week I blame on hormones and not dealing with my emotions earlier on, so they turbulently hit me when I finally walked out.

My feelings were heightened after hearing about the ex spending time with a new girl almost every day since we broke up. I also learned she was probably more compatible with him and she shares more common interests that he wished I had.

'Que cera cera' is what my grandmother used to say. 
Life goes on and this too shall pass. 

It was my choice and I am glad of my decision, but at least I am being human and feeling this grief of letting go of the person who was the centre of my life for almost half a decade.

For now, I will keep myself inspired  to really live my truth and be open to receive what I am ultimately longing for - a true kind of love which fills me emotionally and spiritually. A love that makes me feel desired, adored and treated like a goddess!

Lately, my inspiration for this new quest is one of my favourite paintings by Gustav Klimt, titled “The Kiss”.

This piece of art represents how I ultimately want to feel in a relationship.

To view the original, you can see it at New York's Metropolitan of Modern Art Museum.

Gustav Klimt - "The Kiss"